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Green Leaves


Are you currently affected by the excessive drinking of another?

The effects of alcohol and drug use dramatically influence the recovering person and her entire support network before, during and even beyond initial abstinence. Spouses, parents, children and friends are affected and often need help to cope with the situation during any or all of these phases.

Counseling or psychotherapy, provided by trained and experienced experts in the area of substance abuse and chemical dependency is often a source of comfort and help to individuals and families suffering the effects of another’s drinking or drug use. When coupled with participation in self-help groups such as Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, a powerful combination of resources can be brought to bear on the situation.

Although the two sets of questions below focus on alcohol, I believe that they pertain to other drugs as well. If you answer yes to one or more questions, several resources may be of value to you. Individual, couple, or family counseling and participation in self-help programs such as Al-Anon or Nar-Anon are options to consider as you take steps toward support for recovery from the effects of another’s drinking or drug use.

Please choose either item below:

Are you currently affected by the excessive drinking of another?

The following questions are reprinted with permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.

Millions of people are affected by the excessive drinking of someone close.

These 20 questions are designed to help you decide whether you need Al-Anon.

1. Do you have money problems because of someone else's drinking?

2. Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else's drinking?

3. Do you feel if the drinker loved you, he or she would stop drinking to please you?

4. Do you blame the drinker's behavior on his or her companions?

5. Are plans frequently upset or canceled or meals delayed because of the


6. Do you make threats, such as, "If you don't stop drinking, I'll leave you"?

7. Do you secretly try to smell the drinker's breath?

8. Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a drinking bout?

9. Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker's behavior?

10. Are holidays and gatherings spoiled because of drinking?

11. Have you considered calling the police for help in fear of abuse?

12. Do you search for hidden alcohol?

13. Do you often ride in a car with a driver who has been drinking?

14. Have you refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety?

15. Do you sometimes feel like a failure when you think of the lengths you have gone to in order to control the drinker?

16. Do you think that if the drinker stopped drinking, your other problems would be solved?

17. Do you ever threaten to hurt yourself to scare the drinker?

18. Do you feel angry, confused or depressed most of the time?

19. Do you feel there is no one who understands your problems?

If you answered yes to one or more questions and would like to contact me for further information about recovery or to make an appointment, call me directly at 707-529-5139 or click Contact me button below.

Did you grow up with a problem drinker?

The following questions are reprinted with permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.

Alcoholism is a family disease - Those of us who have lived with this disease as children sometimes have problems which the Al-Anon program can help us to resolve. If you answer yes to some of these questions, Al-Anon may help.

1. Do you constantly seek approval and affirmation?

2. Do you fail to recognize your accomplishments?

3. Do you fear criticism?

4. Do you over extend yourself?

5. Have you had problems with your own compulsive behavior?

6. Do you have a need for perfection?

7. Are you uneasy when your life is going smoothly, continually anticipating

8. Do you feel more alive in the midst of a crisis?

9. Do you still feel responsible for others, as you did for the problem drinker in your life?

10. Do you care for others easily, yet find it difficult to care for yourself?

11. Do you isolate yourself from other people?

12. Do you respond with fear to authority figures and angry people?

13. Do you feel that individuals and society in general are taking advantage of you?

14. Do you have trouble with intimate relationships?

15. Do you confuse pity with love, as you did with the problem drinker?

16. Do you attract and/or seek people who tend to be compulsive and abusive?

17. Do you cling to relationships because you are afraid of being alone?

18. Do you mistrust your own feelings and the feelings expressed by others?

19. Do you find it difficult to identify and express your emotions?

20. Do you think parental drinking may have affected you?

Recovery: Family & Friends: About Me
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